Cliché Much?
by Bip-Bop-Boop
Summary: Ginny comes to Hogwarts for a new year, and boy is she changed! New Ginny is SO cool she wears American brands and listens to music that didn't even exist in the 90s. But she's not the only one changing- and before you can say 'zomg mcr' Hogwarts is emo!
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! This is my first take on a Harry Potter parody... I hope you'll like it!

This comes in response to allll of those annoying people who try to incarnate themselves, or what they think is cool into fanfictions, having absolutely to no respect in regard to what's canon. This story make fun of all Harry Potter fanfic cliches. Ones you read, ones you've written, hell, even one's _I've _written. Enjoy chapter one!

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**Cliché Much?**

_A parody._

Ginny stepped onto Platform 9¾, pouting for no apparent reason other then looking misunderstood and rebellious. The wind picked up for a moment, tousling her hair and making her tiny mini skirt look even shorter. Everyone stopped and stared. Literally. Ginny changed her "misunderstood and rebellious" pout to a "why should you care" pout and strutted towards the train.

Virginia Ame'thyste Moxie Weasley had changed a lot over the summer between her third and fourth years. She had a nose stud, piercings all up her ears, and a belly button ring. Her ripped up black Hot Topic shirt had hearts and skulls, as well as strings trailing from the edges. It appeared that she had mysteriously lost all her cute Weasley freckles, but that may have been attributed to the profuse amount of makeup she was wearing. Her eyes were rimmed in black, in a very raccoon-like style. She thought her whole look seemed very cool and rebellious- of course, most others thought she looked a bit like a druggie who had stumbled into a Hot Topic.

On the train, she walked into a random compartment. Unsurprisingly, it held the Golden Trio.

"Hi!" she said brightly.

There was total silence. Then…

"Whoah." said Harry.

"What?" Ginny asked innocently. "Is it the tee? Yeah, I know all the rips are so sexy, right?" she winked at Harry.

"Um…" he stated. "You _so_ did not look like that before…"

Ginny's eyes welled up with tears. "You haven't noticed? We spent the whole summer together at Grimmauld Place! And NOW you say I look different?!"

"Yeah, but-" Harry cut in.

"Oh my God, Harold James Potter I never should have believed you could change! I'll never be anything to you! So just go back to your whore Hermione and don't come crawling back!"

"Crawling… back…?" he asked, so baffled by her appearance that he didn't register that Ginny had called him 'Harold'.

Hermione looked quite perplexed as well. "Ginny, what's wrong? And what about me and Harry?" she looked Ginny up and down. "And when did you get all those piercings? They're rather… spiky."

Ginny stamped her foot. "You're just jealous! You're all jealous! Harry, one day you'll see! And Hermione, put some makeup on, you're so _plain_!"

She ran out, sobbing. While running down the suddenly empty Hogwarts Express, she knocked into a tall, fair person.

Looking up, she realized it was Draco Malfoy.

"Ginny! What's wrong?" he asked, all comforting and worried. Like he suddenly forgot that he hated her guts on principle.

"I- I" Ginny choked, suddenly forgetting that _she_ hated _Malfoy's_ guts on principle. "I can't be with them! They can't accept me for who I am! Those Gryffindors are all conformists and they have no idea what people like me go through!"

Putting comforting arms around her, Draco said soothingly. "It's okay. Come sit with us- we're better than _them_."

After just one train ride with the Slytherins, Ginny became completely convinced that Slytherin was for her. Because new neo-punk-goth Ginny would rather be part of the exclusive, manipulative, and cliquey Slytherins than the Gryffindors. Because new Ginny was nonconformist and badass, and the Gryffindors were _all_ preppy goodiegoods.

"Yeah, so you have to hear this band! They're called Fall Out Boy and they _rock_." Said Draco, who suddenly listened to American 2000s muggle music.

"I _love_ them!" Ginny cried, also forgetting they were a band from the 2000s. "I saw them AND Panic! At the Disco this summer. I had to sneak out for both, though."

"Whoah! You snuck out?" Pansy Parkinson asked, impressed.

"Duh! You don't? I need to live! I'm sixteen!"

Because Ginny had suddenly become two years older.

When they got to the Great Hall, Ginny decided to sit with her new friends.

Dumbledore, who had forgotten that he was dead, came up to speak. Ginny realized how stupid and old he was. He probably listened to stupid old-people music. Ginny listened to _cool_-people, goth/emo/punk music.

Later that night, Ginny was forced to sleep in the Gryffindor common room, but she woke up to find Draco next to her bed. He had managed to get through both the Fat Lady and girls' staircase through the convenient use of a plot hole.

"Ginny, I want you to know…" he told her. "I love you. I always have. But we can never be together."

"Why not?"

"My father! He'll never accept us."

"Why not?"

"Because it adds drama to the plotline of the story!"

"Come on, Draco. You're sixteen! You need to live your _own_ life."

"You have no idea what it's like! I'm a Death Eater, I can't have anything to do with you!"

Ginny was completely perplexed as to why this was. After all, she was friends with the Slytherins and she was cool now. "_Why_ exactly can't we…?"

"BECAUSE IT ADDS DRAMA TO THE PLOT LINE, GOD DAMNIT!"

Then he pulled Ginny into a kiss. It was a kiss that could be described with clichéd (but you know you love them) phrases like "long and passionate", "fingers entwined in hair", "pushed against the wall", "tingles", "eyes closed", and, over course, a bit of twisting to get Ginny's tongue ring unhooked from Draco's.

When all piercing were officially good to go, Draco had to leave. He returned to Slytherin with no problems at all, yet again completely unnoticed, using yet another one of those handy-dandy plot holes.

It was going to be an interesting year at Hogwarts.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, it was announced that there would be a ball. No explanation for the ball was given, only that it would happen in an indefinite amount of time that meant the next chapter. Interestingly, no one seemed confused that there was an unexplained ball taking place in the next chapter, seeing as the only ball they had _ever had _before was the Yule Ball for the Tri-Wizard Tournament.

Ginny was asked out by a multitude of boys, none of whom seemed to have existed before she became goth. But when deeper inquisition was set forth, it was discovered that they were really all secondary characters who had gone 'punk', 'goth', or 'emo'. Ginny turned them all down of course, because her heart belonged only to Draco.

This made no sense, of course, since he seemed to be no different from all the other boys who had suddenly taken a liking to Hot Topic, but you know how those things go.

Over the course of the next week, the entire Gryffindor house was alerted on just how drastic Ginny's over-the-summer change was. She covered her section of the dorm with black and purple paint, then over that she plastered on muggle band posters, most of which were American and did not exist in the 90's, or were still too unknown for her to have cared about.

"So, _Ginny_," Hermione asked her one night in the dorms, trying in some way to connect, "What's Evanescence?" she gestured to the multiple posters of the band that were tacked on the wall.

Ginny stared at her. Her jaw dropped open. "What… is… Evanescence?" she asked, horrified, "PREP! IT'S A EFFING PREP! OMG! PREP ALERT!"

Ginny looked expectantly at the other girls, who hurriedly looked away, embarrassed. "Aren't you going to _do_ anything?" she asked. When they didn't reply, she screamed and ran out the door.

"What's up with her?" asked a girl

"I… don't… know." Hermione asked, also confused.

"Wait- Hermione!" asked the girl, "Why are you in our dorms?!"

Hermione had no idea. Especially since, providing Ginny actually _was_ sixteen (her age being strangely subject to change), and starting her sixth year, Hermione should have been off with Ron and Harry, fighting against the Dark Lord. But, thinking about that too much made even _Hermione's_ head hurt, so she went to sleep.

The next day, all other subjects of gossip at Hogwarts became obsolete. Every bit of juicy info was tossed aside as dry. There was one thing that the Hogwartsians were talking about- even the teachers. It was something that had happened at breakfast the next day.

It was about halfway through the morning meal, and students were blearily munching on bagels and toast and fruit. They were grumbling about their classes that day. They were disappointedly remarking upon the gray sky. All in all, it appeared quite normal.

Until Draco Malfoy marched straight over to one Ginny Weasley and said, "I don't care about what my father thinks- and I don't care that you're not a Slytherin. My friends have approved, so this is okay!"

He promptly plopped a wet one on her.

It was a surreally perfect kiss, like the ones you see in the movie. For a moment, everyone went _awwww, _which was helped by the collective applause (mainly from the school's resident poser goth/emo/punk group, which was growing with each day). Until everyone who still had a grasp of canon realized something- this was _so wrong._

Ginny Weasley was… a Weasley. She was a blood traitor, why would she be kissing someone like Draco Malfoy, on of the snottiest pureblood priders there was? Then again, he was seeming _extremely _blood traitor-y these days. In fact, today he had traded in his robes for a _My Chemical Romance_ tee, tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight black skinny jeans, and black vans.

So, for the rest of the school day, people were debating the idea of Draco and Ginny. Had _she_ changed that much? Had _he_ changed the much? Or had they _both_ become _completely _different people?

And by the end of a day, they had a new name: Drinny.

Whatever it was that had happened to Drinny, it was happening all over the school. People were noticing their friends acting differently. New fashion, new music, new hair and makeup and outlook on life. They called themselves individuals, but they were forming an almost cult-like group of people almost identical to each other.

"Something's wrong." Ron stated one evening

"You don't think, Ronald?" Hermione asked

Ron rolled his eyes. "_Must_ you keep calling me that Hermione? You sound like my mother_._"

Hermione shook her head in bewilderment. "It isn't me! Lately, I try to say _Ron _and it comes out _Ronald!_"

Ron's eyes widened. "Whoah! I've been getting something like that, too! Lately I've been getting all these strange, overprotective feelings towards Ginny. I mean, she's my little sister and all and I'll pound any boy who comes near her, but I feel like I'm going _mental_! And I've been feeling weird about Harry lately… I mean, it's like I suddenly worship him or something." He turned to Harry, "I mean, you're my best mate, but this is _creepy._"

Harry leaned back. "And I've been getting urges to…" he winced, "_cut_ my _wrists._"

Hermione sighed. "Something's up. And it's up to us to stop it!"

"Why us, exactly?" Harry sighed. He was getting very irritated that people always looked to him to save the day.

Hermione looked confused. "I'm… not sure… I have this funny feeling we could get some great help from a mysterious, beautiful girl with a troubled past and a hard to pronounce name who's really Harry's long-lost sister, but I think we'll do alright on our own."

At breakfast the next day, the Golden Trio was greeted by a chilling sight- almost the _entire _Slytherin house was sporting new, Hot Topicesque muggle clothing and choppy haircuts. Half the Ravenclaws seemed to be going down the same route, and even the light hearted Hufflepuffs seemed considerably more emo.

As for Gryffindor, the transformation was much worse- it seemed like almost _everyone,_ eleven to fifteen had become almost as 'harcore' as Ginny had decided to be, overnight.

"Okay, this is bogus." Harry muttered. "This has got to stop now, and we're going to do something. Not because we always save the day, but because if I hear one more person talk in chatspeak, I think I'm going to kill myself."

"Ah, death," a voice rang out behind them. It was Draco, walking hand in hand with Ginny, "such a deceptively simple escape from this dreadful thing called life. I wrote a song about death last night, my band is playing it when we open for MCR in the Hogsmeade show this weekend."

"Drake is _verryyy _poetic." Ginny purred.

"Wait- MCR? What's an MCR show?" Hermione asked, genuinely curious. She continued to try and stay on Ginny's good side, not wanting to lose their friendship because of Ginny's new lifestyle. Ginny, however, would have none of it.

"PREP! PREP ALERT! PREP!!" she shrieked. Draco glared at Hermione and hissed.

"Stupid muggle," he sighed, "Doesn't know anything. Come on, Virginia darling,"

Hermione looked as if she had been slapped. She really shouldn't have been so offended, though, seeing as My Chemical Romance was a muggle band.

"HEY!" Ron shouted after Draco as he walked away, "Her name is GINEVRA!"


End file.
